Uncover Tenerife's Hidden Gem: Finca el Patio Awaits!
Okay, buckle up Buttercups 'cause we're diving headfirst into the sun-kissed, volcanic wonderland that is Finca el Patio in Tenerife! Forget the pre-fab resorts; this place, this Finca, is the real deal. Think rolling hills, that iconic Canary Island sun, and a vibe that's less "tourist trap" and more "escape into paradise." And trust me, I’m not one to gush (much), but Finca el Patio… it earned it.
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(And now, the unvarnished, messy truth…)
Okay, let's start with the nitty-gritty. You know, the stuff that keeps you from being completely relaxed on vacation.
Accessibility: (Let's Get Real)
Right off the bat, I gotta say, accessibility is a consideration, but not a flawless victory here. It's good, but not perfect, and it honestly warrants me being a little more upfront.
- Wheelchair Accessible: They do have rooms and facilities supposedly adapted, but… call ahead (and re-call) to confirm specific needs. Stuff on the website may not fully represent what the actual experience will bring. It depends which part, I'm guessing, some are probably better than others… and hopefully they're improving this.
- Elevator: Yep! Thank goodness.
- Facilities for Disabled Guests: Marked on the booking sites, but please… call to verify and detail the specifics. I'm seeing this with so many places! It's like a box-ticking exercise, and I wish places were just as honest about what they can't accommodate.
Internet: (Because, Unfortunately, Sometimes We Need It)
- Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms! HUGE win. Yes, even in the secluded rooms. You can Insta the heck out of those sunsets! (Maybe not every sunset… remember to actually look up!)
- Internet Access Great, really great!
- Internet [LAN], Internet Services (for the rest of you, this is what you want!)
Things to Do (Or, More Accurately, Ways to Relax):
This is where Finca el Patio truly shines. It's designed for de-stressing.
- The Spa: Oh. My. God. Seriously. Book the spa. Now. They are very good. The Body scrubs were heavenly.
- Body Wrap - Okay, fine, I guess… go on then!
- Foot Bath - I'm not one for these things, but after a week's walking on volcanic trails, honestly, it's pure bliss.
- Massage: They're just… perfect. It's like all the knots and worries of your life are just poof… gone.
- Sauna, Spa, Spa/Sauna, Steamroom: All present and accounted for. I became a regular in the sauna. Glorious.
- Swimming Pool: The outdoor pool is stunning. But I spent more time in the spa. This is a good thing. The Pool with a View is a true highlight: Imagine floating in crystal-clear water, looking out over the vineyards. It’s pure serenity.
- Gym/Fitness: They have one, but let's be honest, who's really hitting the gym when they're in a place like this? (I didn’t. I promise.)
- (Rambling Thoughts…) I need to get to that gym, I really should. But those cocktails at the poolside bar… and that view… maybe tomorrow.
Cleanliness and Safety: (Because, You Know, The World)
- Anti-viral cleaning products? Check! They seem seriously committed to cleanliness.
- Daily disinfection in common areas? Sounds good.
- Hand Sanitizer: Plenty of that.
- Rooms sanitized between stays? Absolutely!
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items? Yep.
- Staff trained in safety protocol: They appear to be, which is comforting.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: Followed, mostly.
- The rest: First aid kit, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Safe dining setup, Sterilizing equipment. It felt safe, but these things are hard to be definitive about.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: (The Important Stuff)
- Restaurants: There are a few, and they're all pretty decent.
- A la carte in restaurant: Fine dining!
- Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant: They've got variety and quality.
- Buffet in restaurant: Standard, good selection.
- Coffee/tea in restaurant… Okay.
- Bars and Pools:
- Poolside Bar: Get the cocktails. Seriously.
- Happy hour: Yes!
- Other Bites:
- Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Asian breakfast, Western breakfast : Options for anyone who wants them
- Room service [24-hour] : Amazing
Services and Conveniences: (The Little Things That Make a Big Difference)
This is where Finca el Patio really excels. They thought of everything!
- Air conditioning in public area: Yes, thank goodness.
- Concierge: Super helpful.
- Daily housekeeping: Immaculate. They even make the beds beautifully.
- Doorman: Welcoming.
- Elevator: Yes.
- Facilities for disabled guests. (covered above).
- Laundry service: Essential.
- Luggage storage: Handy.
- Safety deposit boxes: Always a good idea.
- Terrace: Perfect for evening drinks or just chilling.
For the Kids (If That’s Your Vibe):
- Babysitting service: Available.
- Family/child friendly: Definitely. They make an effort.
- Kids meal: Available.
Rooms
- Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.
Getting Around:
- Airport transfer: Yes! Book it.
- Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Valet parking: Plenty of parking, and hassle-free.
- Taxi service, Getting around, Airport transfer Very straightforward.
Uncovering the Soul of Finca el Patio: (The Anecdotes!)
Okay, here's where it gets really good. One evening, after a particularly spectacular massage (I may have drifted off, sorry not sorry), I wandered out to the terrace. The sun was setting, painting the sky in fiery hues, and someone had quietly placed a bottle of local wine on a table. No fanfare, no fuss. Just… perfection. And you know what? It wasn't about the wine. It was about the feeling. The feeling of being utterly looked after.
The staff are warm, friendly, and they genuinely seem to care. They're not just going through the motions; they're trying to make your experience special. One morning, I mentioned in passing that I loved the local gofio (a Canarian flour used in different dishes) at breakfast. The next morning? A mountain of freshly baked gofio, just for me! That's the kind of service that sticks with you.
Possible Imperfections (Because, Let's Be Real…):
- Some rooms aren’t entirely soundproof. I heard some late-night chatter one night (not the hotel’s fault).
- It's not a party resort. If you're looking for non-stop nightlife, this isn't the place. It's more about tranquility.
- Getting around Tenerife (in general) can be
Finca el Patio: Sun, Sangria, and Slightly Scarred Memories (A Travel Diary)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your glossy travel brochure. This is real life, baby. This is me, trying to wrangle a week in the Canary Islands, specifically Finca el Patio in Tenerife, and, well, let's just say it's been a whirlwind.
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Luggage Debacle
- Morning: Landed in Tenerife South Airport. Sun already BLEEDING into my eyeballs. Checked baggage claim… nothing. My carefully curated wardrobe of floral dresses and sensible sandals? Vanished. Lost in the ether. Panic level: Mild. Managed to secure a taxi to the finca. Driver, bless his heart, spoke about three words of English, but we bonded over enthusiastic hand gestures and the general existential dread of modern air travel.
- Afternoon: Arrived at Finca el Patio. Gorgeous. Like, jaw-droppingly gorgeous. Stone walls, bougainvillea spilling everywhere, pool shimmering under the sun. Instantly felt a sense of, "Okay, I could definitely live here and disappear into a life of reading books and drinking local wine." The fact that I was wearing the same travel outfit for the next 24 hours, and my essentials (toothbrush, deodorant… you get the picture) were AWOL, was a minor hiccup. Met some of the other guests – a lovely elderly couple from Germany who seem to know more about the history of Tenerife than I will ever learn, and a gaggle of Instagram influencers who spent the entire time taking selfies. (More on them later.)
- Evening: Scrounged a local shop for a replacement outfit (a bright yellow t-shirt and some slightly-too-tight shorts. Fashion icon, I am). Dinner at the finca – a surprisingly delicious veggie paella. Seriously considered stealing the recipe. Tried to embrace the "lost luggage" aesthetic with a bottle of local wine. It worked. Managed to stumble to bed, slightly tipsy, dreaming of my lost clothes.
Day 2: Poolside Philosophizing (and Photographic Warfare)
- Morning: Sun by the pool. Bliss. Or, it would have been bliss, except the Instagrammers. They were everywhere. Posing, preening, taking approximately 7,000 photos of themselves. Every. Single. Second. One of them kept getting into the pool with her phone, resulting in a very near-death experience for her iPhone and the general annoyance of everyone else. Decided to relocate to the less-photographed corner of the pool and attempt to read. Philosophy, because that's what you do when you're slightly neurotic and lost your luggage.
- Afternoon: Hiking. And by hiking, I mean a short, slightly uphill walk, guided by one of the Finca's owners. She was lovely, a real sunshine person, full of stories of the volcanic landscape and the unique microclimates that make Tenerife so special. The views were incredible – lush green valleys stretching down to the turquoise ocean. Tried to take a few photos, but my phone battery was on life support. This would be my new life: living on a phone charger’s mercy.
- Evening: Dinner. More wine. More conversations with the German couple (I learned about the Guanches, the original inhabitants of the Canary Islands). They kept offering me practical advice on dealing with the luggage situation. By night, the influencers looked like they were running out of content, which filled me with an irrational sense of satisfaction.
Day 3: Going Deep – Teide Volcano Hike (and the Altitude Blues)
- Morning: This was the day. Mount Teide. Spain's highest peak. I thought I was prepared. I was not. The air thinned out like a grumpy accountant. The climb was tough, slow, and frankly, I felt like I'd aged about 30 years in the space of an hour. The views at the top, though… breathtaking. Literally. The vast, lunar landscape spread out before me, the clouds below like a fluffy white blanket. The feeling of accomplishment was overwhelming. I may or may not have wept a little. (Don’t judge.)
- Afternoon: Descending was an adventure in itself. My knees were screaming in protest. Felt some mild vertigo, which wasn’t ideal when considering the sheer cliffs. Managed to avoid falling. Got a celebratory ice cream afterwards. Vanilla. Simple pleasures.
- Evening: Exhausted. Sore. But also, strangely exhilarated. Dinner, but mostly just staring at the stars, marvelling at the sheer scale of everything. The world outside was so vast, so beautiful. The German couple shared some local spirits with me. They were strong. I slept well.
Day 4: Wine Tasting and Lost Luggage Update (Still MIA)
- Morning: Wine tasting at a local vineyard - a glorious morning of sipping and swishing and learning about the unique volcanic terroir. The wines were surprisingly nuanced - the whites crisp and the reds… well, the reds were perfect, basically. Felt less like a tourist and more like a local. The owner, a stout, jovial man, shared anecdotes about his family, generations of winemakers, and how the islands’ volcanic soil affects the flavours.
- Afternoon: Check-in with the airline. Luggage still missing. Despair level: Moderate. Decided to actively embrace my transient wardrobe. Looked up charity shops. My style would soon be completely redefined.
- Evening: Cooking class at the Finca! Learned how to make mojo sauce (a local delicacy, like a green or red paste). Ate too much of it. Had a lively conversation about the pros and cons of social media, involving several glasses of wine, with the German couple and, surprisingly, one of the Instagrammers. Turns out, even they get fed up with constantly documenting their lives. There’s hope for us all.
Day 5: Black Sand Beach and Existential Crises (Slightly Dramatized)
- Morning: Beach day! Not just any beach, but Playa Jardín – a black sand wonder, shaped from volcanic rock. The waves were crashing, the wind whipping, and the whole experience was… dramatic. Spent a lot of time staring out at the ocean, pondering life's big questions. The meaning of existence? The whereabouts of my luggage? Why is there so much sand in my… everywhere?
- Afternoon: Wandering. The town nearby - Puerto de la Cruz, bursting with vibrant markets, colourful houses, and the salty smell of the sea. Got lost. Got found. Bought some souvenirs (a tiny, ceramic lizard). Took a deep breath and fully appreciated the freedom that, even without my clothes, I had a great day.
- Evening: Dinner at a local restaurant (the food was amazing). Listened to live music on the plaza! The music was loud, the atmosphere was electric. Found myself laughing with the German couple, singing along to songs I didn’t understand, and generally feeling… happy. Yes. Actually happy.
Day 6: The Great Goodbye… and a Twist
- Morning: The last day. Spent it swimming in the pool, soaking up the sun, and trying to memorize every detail of the finca. The bougainvillea, the stone walls, the sound of the birds.
- Afternoon: Packing (or, more accurately, reorganizing my limited wardrobe). Checked the luggage tracking website… and there it was! My luggage! My clothes… My essentials! A mixture of elation and relief.
- Evening: Farewell dinner with the other guests. The influencers had vanished - they were probably off chasing the next Instagrammable moment. Shared stories, hugs, and promises to stay in touch. As the night ended, the German couple gave me a postcard and address, telling me they would look forward to hearing from me. As a final farewell, the last bottle of local wine was shared.
Day 7: Departure and The Aftermath
- Morning: Saying goodbye to the Finca was hard. It felt like leaving a little piece of paradise behind.
- Afternoon: Travel to Airport. Arrived to the scene of luggage claim. My suitcase finally arrives! The sense of validation was extreme! The joy of unpacking was immense! I didn’t even care that it took so long.
- Evening: Back home, unpacked, showered and happy with the memory I made. The memories of a trip that had highs and lows, and everything in between, will be in its place. Looking back, the missing luggage, the altitude sickness, the Instagrammers… they were all part of the adventure. Tenerife – you were a wild ride. And I miss you already.
Finca El Patio: The Truth (and Not-So-Truth) About This Tenerife Escape!
Okay, spill it. Is Finca El Patio actually a hidden gem, or just another Instagram illusion?
Alright, alright, buckle up buttercups. The "hidden gem" label... it's a minefield, isn't it? Here's the deal: Finca El Patio *is* pretty damn special. I mean, I saw it on Insta, sure, like everyone else, all those perfectly staged breakfasts on the patio. But listen, the photos don't *quite* capture it. They miss the gentle breeze rustling the banana trees, the chorus of geckos chirping at dusk, the way the smell of freshly baked bread just… hits you. It's a vibe, man. A good, messy, real-life kind of vibe.
It's not perfect. The Wi-Fi was a bit… temperamental. And one morning, I woke up to a rogue rooster's opera. But honestly? Those imperfections added to the charm. They reminded me I was *actually* getting away from it all. So, yes. Gem-ish. Definitely worth a gander.
What's the *real* food situation like? Those breakfast spreads look… ambitious.
Oooh, breakfast. This is where things get… interesting. The breakfast *is* amazing, no question. Tons of fruit, yogurt, fresh bread, juice, and even some local cheese. It was a feast, every single day. I honestly felt like I'd been transported to a fairytale, at least until I woke up with a stomach ache from eating *way* too much pineapple.
The breakfast is an experience, but don't panic. They are absolutely fantastic at working with dietary needs. My friend has celiac disease, they made her fresh gluten-free bread that put some bakeries to shame. And for lunch and dinner? Cook your own or go find some local restaurant. Don't be shy, there are tons of local restaurants.
My Advice: pace yourself. It's a marathon, not a sprint. And maybe pack some antacids. You'll thank me later.
Is it romantic? I'm picturing sunsets and stolen kisses... or will I be elbowing tourists for a good view?
Romantic? Absolutely. Tourist-y? Surprisingly, no. This is one area where Finca El Patio truly shines. They actually manage to create an experience.
I went with my partner, and honestly spent far more time kissing than I did taking photos. The setting just invites it. One evening, we lit candles on the terrace, the stars were unbelievable, and the only sound was the gentle lapping of the pool. *Sigh.* Okay, I’m getting sentimental.
There aren't hordes of people fighting for space. It feels intimate. It feels… special. So, yes. Bring the romance. It's practically mandatory.
Okay, down to brass tacks: Location? Do I need a car? And what about the dreaded airport transfer?
Location: Pretty great. Far enough away from the tourist throngs that you feel like you've genuinely escaped. Yet, close enough to great restaurants and amenities.
Car: Highly recommended, unless you are okay with taxis. You'll want to explore the island. The roads are manageable, and the views… oh, the views!
Airport transfer: I recommend using a car rental company, or pre-booking a shuttle. Don't arrive tired and disorganized, trust me.
What if I'm not a "chill" person? I get anxious easily. Is this place going to trigger my inner drama queen?
Okay, honestly? I'm a bit of a drama queen myself, so I get you. Here’s the thing: Finca El Patio *is* inherently relaxing, but you can't rely on a place to fix you. You still have to make an effort to relax.
If you're expecting a silent retreat, you might be disappointed. The sounds of nature, the occasional chatty guest, the rooster... it's a *living* place, not a sterile spa. I mean one morning I swear I heard someone snore, but I didn't actually see them.
So, the answer is... *probably*. If you're already a ball of stress, you might find yourself slightly more stressed at first, as your body adjusts. But with some deep breaths, a glass of wine, and the willingness to embrace the imperfections, you could absolutely have a brilliant time. Just remember your earplugs for the rooster.
I read the reviews. The pool is great, right? Is it actually *that* good?
Let's talk pool. Oh, the pool. Yes. The pool is as good as they say. Maybe even better, depending on your mood. I'm a pool snob, I admit it. I demand sparkling water, a pleasant temperature, and a decent view.
This pool delivered. The water was crystal clear. Perfect for a morning dip. The sun loungers comfy. The view? Outstanding. I swear, I spent half my holiday horizontal, lost in thought. The only downside about the pool? Leaving it.
One day, I stayed there for hours, just floating around, staring up at the sky. I don't think I'd ever felt so completely and utterly… relaxed. So, yes. The pool is that good. Go now. You won't regret it.
Would you go back to Finca El Patio? Be honest!
Damn straight, I would! In a heartbeat. Even with the rooster (I swear, the thing was punctual). Even with the occasionally spotty Wi-Fi. Even with the potential for overeating. Because Finca El Patio isn’t just a place to stay; it’s an experience.
It’s a reminder to slow down, to breathe, to appreciate the simple things: A good breakfast, a beautiful view, a moment of peace. And honestly, after the year I had? I *needed* that. It was the perfect escape. So yeah, pack my bags, I'm ready to go back.
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